Couch of Death

"Emergency workers had to remove some sliding glass doors and lift the couch, with Grinds still on it, to a trailer behind a pickup truck. Removing her from the couch would be too painful, since her body was grafted to the fabric. After years of staying put, her skin had literally become one with the sofa and had to be surgically removed.

"She died at Martin Memorial Hospital South, still attached to the couch."

"All of Bayonne would rejoice."

"Former Mayor Dennis P. Collins said he was delighted to hear about the Archdiocesan proceeding.

"It's such a tribute, an honor, such a prestigious thing," he said. "As I understand the process, it's the last step before the Holy Father would grant her sainthood."

Collins continued: "To have someone from Bayonne declared a saint would be just beyond words. All of Bayonne would rejoice."

And so would I.

I had no idea Sister Miriam was from Bayonne, or that she was of Byzantine heritage; I did know that she was a mystical theologian when such were rare in the American church, especially among women. And I strongly suspect that it was a relic of her that was in the hospital room of a neighbor of mine, the son of one of my father's best friends, who stole chemicals from our high school lab and blew himself up making rocket fuel over winter break. For days we waited for him to die, and for a long time expected him never to fully recover. Yet in a couple of years he was playing varsity football, and when I last heard he was teaching shop at our old school. It was the doctors who used the term miracle; I don't know whether his recovery was documented for church purposes. It may not meet the Roman standards of proof for such things.