All I've been hearing this year is that we're really not happy with either of the two major candidates and so we have to [hold our noses and vote for Bush/hold our noses and vote for Kerry/vote third party in protest/stay home in protest].

What the heck is going on here? Somebody must like these insipid company men or else they wouldn't be on the ballot. Who is really steering the boat? Is it some sort of oligarchic conspiracy or is it really just brainless democracy at work?

I repeat: what the heck is going on here?