I like it and glad to see it in print as hope to see your poems more fully in print some day, but I am not sure the first thought of line one flows easily into the second of the folloing line where I suppose a centrifugal force is working... no suggestion really unless it be 'and yet' for indeed... and I may be way off the mark anyway on this. +Seraphim.
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branchandroot
question..
Date: 2002-11-25 02:19 pm (UTC)to see your poems more fully in print some
day, but I am not sure the first thought
of line one flows easily into the second of
the folloing line where I suppose a centrifugal
force is working... no suggestion really
unless it be 'and yet' for indeed...
and I may be way off the mark anyway
on this.
+Seraphim.